( Private to Rip & Road; )

EUGH-

TACKY!!!!

Statue, get thee from my sight! What is this travesty? In a cemetary, you may be beautiful, aligned with the graves and death, but-

YOU CLASH WITH MY DECOR.

Oh, how does one lure out a lover so-

SEBAS~CHAAAAAAN, I HAVE YOUR LITTLE EARL AND IF YOU WANT HIM BAAAAAACK...

Maybe that will do... oh, dear me. You'd think Romeo would be quicker to Juliet's beck and call but no~

WILLIAAAAAAM~! How does one get his attentions- I'M FILING ALL OF MY TIME HERE AS OVERTIME! YOU HEAR ME! OVERTIME! YOU WORK ME LIKE A DOG, YOU CAD! And I love it, nfu~ ♥

... I'll just leave that here, thank you.

And perhaps that might do for attracting other favorable guests as well... no, Madam?

Edited to add; [filtered against Elizabeth Middleford;]

AND YOUR FIANCEE!

Nfu~ I've never had quite this strong a desire before, and while the flesh of a handsome man, the supple skin of a beautiful woman, is indeed a delicacy-

A tasty banquet of juicy, tender, meat-

An experience beyond belief for the taste buds-

A smorgasbord of mouthwatering morsels-

An opulent and inspiring appetizer-

...

Haaaa... just a bite.

Mouuuuu~ ♥ City, city, city. Fire and tea parties... it's so cliche! Like Nero and the fiddling while Rome burned... romantic, yes, and dramatic, yes, but.

It's all been done before, you know.

Oh, there's just no helping the tacky. There comes a time one must throw in the towel and~! ... Lament the loss of such a beautiful woman as the madame, and then take over her business venue- it's only proper, after all.

After all- a woman's shoes say a lot about her. And I do have a lot to say. And help all of you say~ Being a death god doesn't pay rent here~

I may- MAY be recovered from that horrendous ordeal! Horrendous!

If I scar I will kill someone! My face, my beautiful, awe-inspiring face-

What right have the deities to pass judgment on a death god!?

HMM?!

I will be billing the deities for any and all reconstructive work and beautician bills! Do you hear me?!

...

I HAVE BEEN SLANDERED. WRONGED. VIOLATED.

I NEED A MAN OF THE LAW. THE KIND IN A SUIT- NOT THE POLICE.

WHERE IS WILLIAM WHEN I NEED HIM- SURELY HE'S A DEGREE OF SOME KIND.

Ashes~ Ashes~ They all~ fall~ down~

Shinigami Grell Sutcliff, London division, soon to reporting for duty at the Phantomhive mansion, ready to pick up my-

... Scythe... upon orders from...

Or not~ ♥

Oooooh, William is going to be so very cross that if I mess up my first assignment back on the job! Oops.

[ooc; new chapter of Kuroshitsuji and Grell didn't get the possiblyhintedhemightget appearence, so, bringing him back- from just before the mission he is sent on to reap the souls of the Noah's Ark Circus troupe at the Phantomhive mansion. He remembers the City, and he'll... get over himself one day. Or not.]

Nfu~ Today is more than delightful enough to last me for quite some time. ♥

Your darkest desires, city, your most perverse wants and needs, bared for all to see? The polite and kind, the righteous and the pure- underneath all of that, aren't you all just as sick and perverse as the rest here?

Behind the curtains, behind the masks...

You're all animals garbed in silks and propriety.

No better than... say... a harlot on a street corner, daubed up in crimson and hiking up their skirts for a coin or two? Willing to give in to any john's... fetish?

Shame.

Oh, my, my, my~ ♥

Isn't this place so entertaining? A cirque, just for us~! My dear Little Mistress, you must have enjoyed that, what with your new business endeavor, no? How is that faring, by the way? Tell Mother everything~

And always, like clock work, tick tick tick, this City is bringing in newcomers, too...

Who will it bring me this time? After all, they brought me the boy Earl and my beloved Sebastian...

Do I get my William next?~

Round and round and round it goes, where it stops... no one knows?

This place has an awful long fuse, doesn't it?

That last curse, you know?

Quiz time- Do death gods have mothers?~

As if I need a curse to mother my babies? Shame, City. Those of you who don't know the feeling of maternal pride are surely lacking.

Now, my daughters are the sweetest things-

SEBASTIAN, HAVE YOU MET THEM, YET?~ ♥ AS THEIR STEPFATHER, YOU OUGHT.

A reflection on one's parents, children are. You have... "spare the rod, spoil the child"... but how about if they're as well-behaved as mine, you need only spoil.

Oh, William, surely you'd like them, too, as staid as you can be. You'd make a wonderful father! Well- the workaholic proper type, anyway.

Sebastian is the devilish type. Rakish, tempting mommy like that.

Oh, City. How you indulge me.

... even if you have hairballs.

DISGUSTING!!!

What kind of foul plan is this? Eww, eww, eww!

[that is the sound of a chainsaw revving- now]

BACK, FOUL... THING!!

( Private to Alexis Hargreaves; Unhackable )

Aaaaah, but this City is sometimes far too good to me, far too good.

I do enjoy the foray in to a lady's body- the true physicality of a lady, mind. The other half, the things I desire, offered me-

Shame on those who frown on the opportunity to get in touch with their feminine sides! (And those who try changing their appearances poorly in a lie- if you're going to disguise, do it proper!~)

As is-

SEBAAAAAASSSSSSTIAAAAAAN~~~~!

[ooc; Grell does so enjoy being a lady]

Aaaah, City, you allow me so many indulgent fantasies~ ♥ It's unbecoming to be such a tease!

But- you returned my dear Romeo to my side, so, you'll have my gratitude- for now.

So many things, so little time- tsk, tsk, Who'd ever think playing butler would pay off so?

Then, to the first-

Little Mistress?~ Larxene~? Nena?~

Outing, my treat? I've a bit of a need for a... how to say.

Fun. And a bit of rechristening for an old friend.

Ara, ara~ ♥

Wasn't that last curse a fun little exercise? I can't say I ever wanted to be a teacher, mind, but it was certainly a fun little distraction. Do entertain me further, City, since you were cruel enough to take my beloved Sebas~chan away from me, you do owe me new toys.

Boy~, I still think you may possess a budding talent for the written word, mind!

You, though, were far more entertaining when cursed, I'm afraid-

But, oh~!

I think I even made new friends, too, nfu~ And wouldn't that be a treat, for a lonely death god~ Alas and lack a day.

But I may have made a beautiful woman cross with me, too... woe is meeeee~ I must send flowers right away, should I not, citizens? After all- one must always be the gentleman when one plays the role, and be the lady likewise.

Which is good advice~! Remember it!

Alright, gentleman~ ♥ You've seen the sign, and we had our ever so enlightening lecture yesterday.

So. Welcome to hell.

Your final will consist of, surprise: one essay, five to ten pages, single-spaced, and your topic is "Of all the works attributed to Wiliam Shakespeare, which, in your most humble opinion, deserves the most praise, and why."

Hope you brought your blue books- They really should come in other colors, honestly, for variety, and the purpose of fashion, but that's a discussion best had with the Headmaster, anyway. Not that the man would know fashion if it hit him upside his aging head.

EXTRA CREDIT; Which you can attribute to Mister Freeman, thank him generously, young sirs, for you have a saving grace in the case you cannot manage to convince me your favorite of the Bard's work is worthy of adoration.

Extra credit being that you may turn in to me by tonight, a poem lauding the beauty and virtue of the woman (or~ man~), of your wholesome and youthful desires. Your would-be date for tonight's galas, your lustful fantasy, your ideal woman you only desire from afar... any will do. Your poem, if written well, tastefully, and in proper form, can greatly improve your grade. ♥

Nfu~ Enjoy your day. I'll only field questions before you pick up your pens.

Now, hurry, hurry, your lovely instructor has preparations of his own to make.

[ooc; for your british comedic lulz, click here for my... inspiration for today, idk]